The April issue of Coastal Senior has an investigative piece that uncovers a real problem in our fair city.

Coastal Senior writer Bess T. Chappas, whose story had me laughing on the inside (I am no longer capable of exhibiting emotion), revealed a growing problem in Savannah: senior road rage.

According to her story, Ms. Chappas was chased up and down Savannah's Southside by a gray-haired granny with a grudge. When finally Chappas relented, stopped her car to confront her stalker, it turned out that all Grams wanted was an apology.

This only supports my long held theory that car manufacturers need to make standard in all vehicles a flashing, neon sign atop the roof of said vehicle that makes clear its driver's intentions. Fuck the turn signal. This is more specific, eliminating the problem of ambivalent communication between drivers. In Chappas' case, she would signal, "I'm sorry." In Granny's case, it would be, "You cut me off, asshole." This way, enraged drivers don't need to waste their time tracking their prey all over town to get the much deserved apology. Careless drivers can take their penance - nice and neatly.

I think I've got something here. Does anyone want to invest in this proposal?